Let me rewind four months and one week. Somewhere around Star Date Thanksgiving.
I decided that it might be a good idea to leave my job of 12 years and move into a “different” surrounding. I left my very comfortable “cake” job and transferred to the “Mother Ship”. It’s the same “system” just a different location. This particular hospital sees more trauma, more drug users, more human stupidity than one might imagine is even possible on one planet, much less one hospital. I hated it from the first ultrasound I did at this hospital. I still do. Which leads me to the title of this post: KARMA
We all think that we do it all correctly. The justifications we make about our daily decisions to put ourselves ahead of someone else is okay. That our spiritual oneness with the Universe will somehow get us through this life with everyday being all sunshine and beautiful sunsets.
This is my take on KARMA: I think that it’s all in how we perceive what’s happening in our life.
For 4 months and a week I’ve had the damnedest time trying to figure out what the hell I could have possibly done to deserve this shitty turn of events, even if it did start out to be of my own choosing. Here’s a little example: one of our ultrasound rooms has a thermostat that’s “pegged” at 85 degrees. I call it the “Sweat Lodge”. We have to scan patients with the door closed for privacy. Not all patients have had a recent bath. Some have gangrene, and with an ambient temperature of 85 degrees and no ventilation, well, just think of the cartoon with the green gas wafting in the air. We have to stand while we do this interrogation of various body parts as well. That’s the nice part of the job. I won’t go on to the other “stuff”, it’s just boring and whiny.
I realized during my episode of insomnia tonight, that it isn’t KARMA treating me unfairly, or even fairly. I think KARMA is treating me just fine. It’s all in the way I’ve perceived it.
This is the Universe YELLING at me: “HERE’S YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO FEEL HOW CRAPPY YOUR WORK LIFE IS. NOW WALK OUT THE DOOR, KEEP LOOKING AHEAD, AND CREATE SOME PEACE AND HARMONY FOR YOURSELF.” This is KARMA giving me a second (thousandth) chance at helping the human population feel better, or at least less afraid of what’s going on in their bodies, and creating a happy AND healthy work environment for myself.
On Monday I will, without an ounce of regret, tender my resignation. And I will be nice about it. While Mr. Scott will beam me to my new destination, I will laugh with delight at the thought of those left at the Mother Ship dealing with the Tribbles.